Monthly Archives: January 2014

Tired of Hardship?

IMG_0746Bless my client today.  With sheer ease he just let the word fly off his lips like it was a real word: “soft ships”.  Brilliant.  The inquiry for the day was,  “What is a pattern interrupt that you can introduce into your life right now?”  To kick start the conversation, I threw in the example that I was going to do a pattern interrupt around being hard on myself.  That when I catch myself making something harder or being harsh, critical or judgmental in the vast expanse of my over-functioning head (See? I snuck one in RIGHT THERE!!! This stuff is relentless….so yay for pattern interupt!!!), that I need to stop, drop and roll into my heart space and see what is really going on.  I make up that this is part of my spiritual warrior training.  I do not make up, because the evidence is clear, that this is a long-standing behavior.  Once brought into my consciousness as a mechanism to protect me (if I am hard on myself, I’ll do something good, better or best and then I will be accepted and loved and maybe even sought after), after years of Chinese water-torture, it becomes not just dysfunctional but sheer betrayal.  Pattern interrupt offers us the opportunity to move toward life affirming behaviors and ways of being.  It brings us closer to self honoring and self love which, when you think about it,  is pretty much where all of our therapeutic, coaching, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, rock-worshiping, tantra, counseling efforts are attempting to get us.  Big secret, right?  Yeah, no.   After sharing his insights on his observations about my obsession with this behavior I already copped to, and, encouraging me in all kinds of ways to cease it immediately….he said something like “You need to change your hardships into softships.”  To which I replied “I’m done giving my example here, it’s your turn!” (Good grief, clients coaching their coaches? Heresy!).  So his pattern interrupt was that he was going to proactively take on the air quality issues with governmental agencies in our area.  Sweet.  I want to get back to the soft ships.

Let’s just make stuff up about what soft ships are.  I make up that soft ships are instances where things move around smoothly and easily.  They are times when the energy in the field is full of allowing and devoid of resistance.  A time worthy of comments by loved ones, like this: “She’s been relaxing into her new role as a single parent and seamlessly goes from work to home and curling up with her journal as if it were all in one breath.  I think she’s going through a soft ship right now.”   Will people use this?  Will people want to comment on others who are not struggling or having a hard time?  What will people do if soft ship is an option?  How wild would it be to say to someone, “I”m really going through a soft ship right now and I’d love your support while I go through it.  I need loved here too”? I like it.  I’m going to go set myself a big fat intention around generating a soft ship.  I love my clients, they bring me new material every day!  What is your take on what soft ship could be?